Today I am weary and recalling my experience. As the dust settles, my experience has me in an emotional wreck. Ive just begun to come up for air as I have had no chance to rest, no chance to reflect, no chance to create a plan, no chance to really feel complete.

I have been chemically induced into menopause.
My sex life is hanging from a thread
Skin is like a alligators eczema is exasobated
Confidence is at an all time low
Mom guilt Consumes me as I have no energy
Concerns of discrimination while applying for jobs

What's going well for me.right now is that I have recognized that I have the power of choice.

My power of choice has driven me to try to give myself a fighting chance to combat my aliments and fight through the fear.

What's going well is that my son Jaxon is alive and thriving after going through chemo with me.

What's going well for me.is that I still have my life to see my boys grow and they adore me and care for me so much

What is not going well for me are finances

What's not going well is the traumatic experience I've had jumping into my first job since treatment.

I was battling with the choice of do I stay or do I go, because of the amount of verbal abuse I was witnessing and experiencing.

I stayed for security, for my family to have income. And for me to be able to provide comfortability. Provide housing. Provide a safe space. But in me.staying I endured a heavy amount of scrutiny and experience so many going through the same agony.

The most challeneging thing has been loss of energy. I use to be able to keep up with my children and play more but I've been depleted of energy. And now everything hurts.

I go to my journal or talk it out in counseling I. Still working on trusting my husband and friends and family with my emotions i just cant take another heartbreak

Life goals have change tremendously. I recognize the importance of time and the lack there of of time. Facing your mortality is something that opens you mind to the possibilities of being with and without. Yes I am.with my family but I am with the emotional and physical security I once had.

My Goals I no longer waste time. I get it done and I seek opportunity to create memories

Work I am unemployed I am seeking employment and have applied to so many positions.

I haven't worked a job since treatment started I had to make the choice to focus on my health since I was so high risk

Just the want to be proactive and contribute to my household

Be patient with yourself. And when faced with struggles during work. Dont be afraid to speak up. The job will always be there and the company has.open opportunity to replace you but there is no way for your family to replace you. So if you have to walk away from work its okay. But if not create time to put the work aside and focus on healing.

I haven't really dealt with them.i am just continuing my doctor's visits and hoping they can assist me along the way.

Breathe and let go, you cant control this but that doesnt mean you let it control you. Be Proud of your strength