Leonna,

 Thank you for reaching out to Cancer and Careers. I’m so sorry to hear of that challenges you’re experiencing and how they are impacting your work and professional image. Have you spoken to your healthcare team about possible remedies to mitigate some of the symptoms that have worsened? In terms of the situation at work and your review – you said you have been forthcoming about your diagnosis and side effects, is this something you’ve specifically spoken about with your colleagues/manager? It is unfortunate that your coworkers didn’t speak to you directly  and that your manager didn’t inform you of this until your review, but at this point, it’s about doing some damage control. Perhaps schedule a meeting with your manager to come up with some solutions to address their concerns. From there, it could be helpful to start considering if any reasonable accommodations could help you to meet some of your goals and responsibilities. Brain fog/chemo brain are certainly challenging to fully address, but there are certain approaches that could be helpful. Take a look at our article on Working with “Chemo Brain” along with our one-sheet that outlines Ways to Counteract “Chemo Brain” at Work. Additionally, it could be helpful to check out the Job Accommodation Network as they have a ton of resources on reasonable accommodations, along with suggestions on which accommodations could help with specific side effects and symptoms.

All of this to say, though it’s disheartening to hear that people are unhappy with your work, and a negative performance review can certainly feel like a blow to your confidence, you are still a capable employee! It’s just about figuring out how to address and navigate some of the realities of working after a diagnosis. I am so sorry you feel like a failure, but you are anything but! Your resiliency has helped you to not quit when you were unable to continue your former work, but rather to pivot and find something else you wanted to do. Despite some setbacks, you don’t need to walk away completely. Now is the time to really narrow down some potential mitigations and try them out. If they don’t work, then that’s okay too! It may take some time to figure out what will allow you to be more productive.

As for self-care, it’s clear you are carrying a lot of emotional weight given the experiences you have had. If you are not already, it might be helpful to get into therapy so you can talk out some of the complicated feelings you may be experiencing. Additionally, as a single mother and sole income earner, you certainly may be feeling a lot of pressure, which is totally understandable! I recommend breaking each aspect of your responsibility down to identify how and where you could make a plan to make sure you are able to fulfill each obligation. It may also be helpful for you to take a look at our Collective Diary so you can hear how others have handled their challenges at work - of which there is often some commonalities. 

Again, I’m sorry you are feeling so down but I do think there are ways to address this that could ultimately provide you with the support you need, while also working towards your employer feeling more comfortable and positive about your performance.

If you have any more questions, concerns, or would like to receive more information, please don’t hesitate to contact us at cancerandcareers@cew.org to speak further.

Warmly,

Nicole Jarvis, LMSW

Assistant Director of Programs

Cancer and Careers