When I posted, my paragraph spacing was completely removed. I will repost and see if paragraph spacing is maintained

I was diagnosed with Stage IIA Breast Cancer in 2019, and diagnosed with Metastatic Breast Cancer with metastases to the bone in late 2021. I am 33 years old, and have worked a salaried job at a fortune 500 tech company for ten years. I was doing well on my career path, and had received a promotion and job role growth once every two years. However, cancer has complicated managing my career. My diagnosis prognosis is not good. My oncologists (I have one main and one secondary) project my disease will progress in the next five years, with a projected life span of 10 years or less. This is derived from Seer data, known medical advances, and current clinical trials. Also, I have difficulty with fatigue about one week every month, to the point where I have had to excuse myself from work before the day is over. I will be on this treatment plan or similar treatment plans until my end of life. The combination of future uncertainty and fatigue side effects are the primary complications.

Although I am satisfied with my current job role, it is very clear that the expectation is that I would continue focusing on career growth, expanding my role, and looking for new opportunities or promotions. My first level manager is content give me accommodations, such as allowing me to take time off as needed for side effects or doctor appointments under ADA, and not requiring full FMLA paperwork to be filed. The pressure from my second level manager, however, is that not aiming for career growth is undesirable (direct quotation). I feel I cannot meet this expectation. Also, company and industry norms are that an employee is expected to work full time hours, and I cannot.

This is also complicated by the fact that in 2019, when I was diagnosed originally with breast cancer, my career was not very much impacted at all. I received treatment for about one quarter and was able to bounce back quickly afterwards. I don't think that bouncing back quickly is much of an option now, but people both at work and outside of work offer encouragement by reminding me that I recovered quickly before. An example of such encouragement is "You've bounced back quickly before, I know you'll do it again". This also causes stress by setting expectations that I feel are unreasonable.

I do not know if I should stay on my job and passively work, or look for a new job. I feel like a new job in tech is untenable, because the industry norms are to work full time and be very aggressive about career growth. But at the same time, I want a job where my skills and experience can be useful. I know the pressure from my second level manager is causing me stress. I have reviewed my companies internal open requisition, and I did not see even a single job that would accept a high level part time technical employee. I have also browsed externally, but saw similar lack of opportunities.

The three things I'm looking for are

I want a job that will use my current skills.
I want a job that can understand that I will be not be able to work a full eight hours every day.
I want a job that doesn't expect me to reach for promotion and job growth.

Please offer me some advice on how to manage my immediate career needs. Should I stay or go? If I stay, how do I manage the external expectation? If I go, how do I find a job that does not aggressively push growth and role expansion?

For what it’s work, my immediate manager and team do seem to value my current contributions. The pressure seems to be coming from my upper management and other coworkers and acquaintances.

Hi Christina,

 Thanks so much for reaching out to Cancer and Careers. It sounds like you have a  lot on your plate! I will pass your question along to one of our volunteer career coaches, but in the meantime just wanted to respond to a few of your concerns.

 It’s really challenging to not internalize both external and internal expectations. This is a common experience for many individuals with a cancer diagnosis – the idea that treatment has ended and thus life is “back to normal” is simply not true, as any survivor can tell you. The same logic can be applied to if there is a recurrence or progression, the experience may be entirely different. It can be really hard to feel supported when that support sounds like pressure. I encourage you to consider if this expectation to be focused on career growth is something that is actively being pushed, or is an assumption you’re going off of based on some internalized pressure? I’m definitely not saying the upper management is not challenging you, but if you are doing your job well and there are no complaints about that, which as you mentioned your direct manager feels you are a valuable team member, then perhaps you continue business as usual, until you are approached about there being some sort of issue.

 If you do decide it’s best for you to go elsewhere, it’s a good idea for you to identify the aspects of your job that you enjoy, and then determine whether you might be able to find them elsewhere, at a company that is more flexible, supportive, and perhaps open to less conventional career paths (i.e., less focus on upward mobility and more focus on getting the day-to-day responsibilities done). The Exploring Your Options section of our website has a number of articles that may be helpful as you work to identify the best next steps.

 I understand what you are saying about the tech industry being geared towards full-time and extremely ambitious standards, but you might be surprised at the turns that many industries are taking in terms of perspective and flexible work arrangements. The pandemic has brought a change to the job market, which includes more of a focus on employee satisfaction and needs – so while the norms may have been one way previously, it’s not out of the realm of possibilities that those more rigid standards still apply. So, with that said, I encourage you to take a look at our article on Researching Employers to Help Inform Your Job Search for a better understanding of what might be helpful to explore before you decide to apply to certain companies. It’s always important to remember that job searching is a two way street, you want to find a place where you would be a good fit, but it’s also critical to find an organization that will also be a good fit for you. This means companies that are more flexible and supportive, have specific policies (leave, remote work, etc.) that could support your needs as you go through treatments, surgery, radiation, etc. Glassdoor is super helpful in terms of digging up this specific information, as is using your network to learn more about various roles and companies.

 I hope some of that helps ease some of the pressure and find your path. Certainly feel free to reach out to cancerandcareers@cew.org if you have additional questions and/or would like more information and resources.

Best of luck!

Warm regards,

Nicole

Nicole Jarvis, LMSW (she, her, hers)

Assistant Director of Programs

Cancer and Careers / CEW Foundation

Ph: 646-929-8043

njarvis@cew.org

www.cancerandcareers.org

Hi Nicole,
I'm fairly certain that my expectation to be aggressive with my career is not generated internally. I know this because for the first four months of my diagnosis I was satisfied with my contribution at work. My second level manager brought me into a one on one meeting and said that he knows that I will get back on track soon and will not let this stop me in my career advancement. He said it would be undesirable if I did stop my in career. Additionally, in a team meeting, he used me as an example of someone with opportunities to grow their career, and said that I would be foolish not to take advantage.

Right now I plan to let it lie and stay on the job, but I do need some help on what to do in the future. I appreciate the resource links about looking for a new job and understanding that I need a career focus shift from my previous expectations.

Dear Christina,

I read your email, Nicole's response and your answer to her carefully. I would really like to know what you do specifically other than that you work in tech. This would help me as a career coach in breaking down some possible jobs and industries that you can pursue that wouldn't require you to be ambitious, and work full days. 

I am terribly sorry about the stress you are experiencing on many levels and it doesn't help to have to listen or pay attention to people who haven't ever walked in your shoes. I agree that your short-term plan should be staying at your job until you figure out what you can do next to meet your needs. Culturally, most larger companies just expect everyone to want to progress and climb the ladder, especially someone your age. They tend to be quite myopic about this and while you would think COVID would have changed many companies and leader's viewpoint, I am not sure this is true. After all, it's all about making money for the company and the part they need to play to make this happen. 

However, looking for a part-time, flexible job that will enable you to use your skills and maybe even develop new ones is not at all unrealistic. I think you need to develop a list of the skills you want to keep using and peruse job aggregate boards and company websites to see how they align with their postings. You also have the option of creating a role for yourself (this happens more often than people realize) and negotiating your terms. Just because your current employer doesn't offer these options doesn't mean other companies don't. I know for a fact that companies are being the most flexible they have ever been given the shortage of employees.

So, please write back to me and tell me what you do, some of your top skills, and we will continue this dialogue so that I can generate ideas for you.

Take care,

Julie

Hi Julie,
I am happy to provide more information about what it is I do. I am a memory validation engineer, similar to some of the jobs you might see in this search https://www.indeed.com/q-Memory-Validation-Engineer-jobs.html?vjk=5dae2481cc84682b. I have some memory design skills as well.
I am quite familiar with memory technology, having started on DDR3 and currently working on DDR5. I am informed about hardware validation, JEDEC specifications for memory devices, developing tests and scripts, analyzing electrical data, and a myriad of other skills related to the field like firmware programming, RTL/Verilog, C/C++, python, etc. I have coauthored a couple of patents that have contributed to memory ecosystem.
But also, my favorite part of my job is problem solving. I like being the one that works around some seemingly insolvable problems since at least my high school days. I also like leading and mentoring others, but recently the cancer restrictions I mentioned above interfere with those types of longer-term goals. I have always been a high performer and would have continued to be so if it were not for cancer. You mentioned that "most larger companies just expect everyone to want to progress and climb the ladder". I would have been happy to continue doing so, and I was good at it, and I was recognized by my management alongside those who had more years than me. But I am not sure I have those ambitions anymore with my diagnosis, especially since day-to-day activities are significantly more tiring.
I didn't expect such personal interest, so I didn't provide as many details the first time. But I feel like I'm giving my elevator speech now:)
I have three more important things to note. One is that my second level manager, the one who passively aggressively insisted I return to normal, has been in that position for approximately three months. He came in from a different position. Another thing is that I am going to stay with the company for at least two more months, since I have one month of paid leave coming up. This paid leave is part of the compensation plan of my company and has nothing to do with cancer. Finally, I am open to finding a position in a different industry. I am just not informed about what positions are out there where I can apply my skills, as I have been with the same company for a decade.
Thank you again for your interest in my case.
Regards,
Christina

Christina,

Please forgive me for my delayed response, it's been a busy few days. I will send you a thoughtful response over the weekend! I really feel that you deserve a more customized response not a generic one hence my personal/professional interest!

Stay tuned,

Julie

Hi Christina,

Thanks for taking your time to provide me with more detail about your skills and experience. All of it is highly transferable into another type of engineering position or a simple coding position. However I do think that your first objective is to stay in your job as long as you are able to physically and psychologically not just because of the paid leave element.

If you decide you cannot take the pressure the new second level manager is putting on you and you need to find a job elsewhere, your first goal would be to find a part-time, flexible job as a memory validation engineer. A job-share situation also is an option. Based on the link you sent to me, it is obvious that companies are very eager to find people with skills like yours so will be more open to negotiating time and work load. I would break the process down into manageable pieces by targeting 3-4 companies who have these openings, connecting with people who work there on LinkedIn and reaching out infomationally. Not all companies are as rigid as your employer. Speaking of this, what industry do you work in?

Most professionals don't know alot about other industries or companies or functions until they start researching and networking a bit. It is a process that can feel very overwhelming so breaking it down is essential. And you don't have an obligation to discuss anything about your health, stamina, or ambitions. Or you may decide that you want to or need to given your ongoing treatment.

Please write back if you have specific questions about anything.

Take care,

Julie

Hi,

I work in the semiconductor industry. So, one of these companies: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Semiconductor_industry

I'm not sure it makes sense for me to stay in my current company and position as long as possible. Given that the current job market is better for job seekers, wouldn't it make sense for me to try to find a position that better matches my needs? I could certainly poke around and see if there are positions that might accept a less than 40 hr work week employee.

Christina,

Sorry if I am giving you mixed messages. My concern is for your overall health and psychological well being and only you know how much your current situation is impacting this. If you can find fewer than 40 hour job opportunities, with your skills and experience, my guess is that the hiring process won't be protracted. It is absolutely a good idea to start a job search especially in your industry with your marketability. And yes, the job market is still very strong and we don't know when this will begin to change. 

Anyway, at a minimum, I hope that Cancer and Careers has helped you feel supported. Write back anytime! 

Take care,

Julie

Thanks for your feedback. I'll check back in a few months and let you know how I'm doing! I've already put a reminder on my calendar.

Christina,

That would be awesome, I would really like to hear how you are!

Take good care,

Julie

Hi Julie,

It's been a few months, and my second level boss has come around to the idea that I can still provide value even if my fatigue means that I contribute less. Seems like my technical expertise, critical thinking skills, and history of my achievements have swayed people's opinions of me currently.

I've found that I can apply for reduced hours, so I am applying to work the schedule of 9-12 and 2-5 so that I can rest. My manager and second level manager both need to approve the change, but it seems doable. My manager and second level manager has already given me pre-approval to do so, so I am working on that now. There will be reduced compensation, but I am in an incredibly privileged position of having savings, no debt, and living in a dual income no kids household, so I believe this is acceptable tradeoff.

The main sticking point is health benefits. I recently found out that MD Anderson doesn't accept marketplace benefits and HMO plans. Part time at my company does come with full health benefits, but due to my husband working as well I could migrate to his plan if I lose health benefits.

My tumor marker CA 15-3 is up slightly, but currently no progression has been noted in the last two scans. I continue to be hopeful about living a long life, and being able to continue to use my skills accumulated over 20k+ hours in the industry.

I will update here if my part time gets approved.

Christina,

I was so happy to read your update and hear such positive news! I would be surprised if a part-time schedule isn't approved too. You need this break!

Please do keep me/us posted. And glad no progression has been noted in your last few scans!

Take care,

Julie

My part time was approved and I'll start part time, 6 hrs/day 9am-12pm and 2pm-5pm schedule, starting 11/01/2022. Hopefully my contributions will still be valued after going to part time. My manager and other people have convinced my second level manager that I am valuable in my role regardless of my ambition and current health condition.

Hi Christina,

This is amazing news and you must be relieved. If they didn't value your work and contributions so much, they probably would not have approved a part-time schedule. 

I hope working fewer hours gives you the rest you need while still feeling like a productive human being!

Take care,

Julie

It's been a while since I updated this. My part time is working well, and it's very beneficial to have a couple hours to rest when the medications fatigue me.

My second level manager is still my second level manager, and other people have had issue with him. Since I last posted, three people have left my org, and they all cite him as at least partial reason why they left. Currently my first level manager is doing well in shielding me, because both he likes me and values my contribution. But my second level manager is still a pain in more ways than one, and he still thinks I'm being lazy and not utilizing my skills to the fullest.

Hi Christina,

I am happy to read your update. Mostly positive! Sorry about your second level manager but glad that you are protected by your manager!

Take care,

Julie

Hey, it's been a long time since I posted here, and I just wanted to give an update.

I had progression of my cancer into additional bones, lungs, liver, and possible pancreas. I had to stop working in July 2023. I've been stable since January, but because I'm on a clinical trial working at the same time is pretty prohibitive, even with FMLA. I have long term disability and SSDI replacing my income from my job.

My first level manager retired. We do keep up from time to time, so I'm glad he did like me after all and it wasn't just my contributions that he liked. My second level manager got managed into a different organization after too many people complained about him. Occasionally I do get messaged from other people saying they miss having me at work, and I reiterate to them I'm in a different place in my life now.

My former company is doing poorly, and there's been salary cuts and projected layoffs. I feel bad for the people I knew who are dealing with that, but I also am glad I'm not involved.