Hi Nancy,

Thanks so much for reaching out to Cancer and Careers. I'm sorry to hear you're having these uncomfortable moments at work. I'm going to pass your post along to one of our volunteer career coaches, but in the meantime, I'd like to address some of what you mentioned and share some resources that may be helpful. 

The effects of chemo brain can be long lasting and very frustrating. With that said, there are certain measures you can take to manage some of the more challenging aspects. We have an article on Working with "Chemo Brain" that has some suggestions for ways to alleviate some of those challenges. We also have a one-sheet on Ways to Counteract Chemo Brain at Work that is available for download and also provides some approaches. Finally, our recorded webinar on Working Through Treatment can help provide some additional validation and ideas for how to alleviate the challenges with chemo brain at work.

As you look at some of these emails from your coworkers, can you notice a pattern with what they're pointing out? Perhaps you're looking at their emails while doing other things? Or perhaps not writing things down or making a to-do list that could help keep you organized? I'm not placing blame here, it can just be really helpful to identify where some of these slips are happening so that you are able to create a plan for addressing them and staying on top of your responsibilities and tasks. I understand it may feel overwhelming, especially if you're feeling like negative attention is placed upon you, but the more you can plan and set specific processes for yourself, the better it will be in the long-run.

Who have you asked for monthly meetings with? I'd imagine that would be a good way to gauge how you're doing and if you're keeping up with your responsibilities. Is there someone else you can speak with? I understand not wanting to bring too much attention to yourself but it's also important to have a sense of your performance so you're not met with any surprises down the road.

Please feel free to reach out to us at cancerandcareers@cew.org if you'd like to discuss this further!

Warm regards,

Nicole Jarvis, LMSW

Assistant Director of Programs

Hi Nancy,

Sorry about the way your co-worker's comments make you feel. Nicole's advice about handling chemo brain and using different methods for staying organized and on top of things are great. I also wonder if your coworker makes comments about everything she/he is communicating to you about or just instances where she/he may feel that you have forgotten or are taking longer then they woudl like you to. Regardless, your two proactive choices would be either to sit them down and tell them that their communication bothers you or decide to not take it personally and find a coping method for reducing your irritation. 

Your instinct that your managers aren't as supportive as they once were and being unable to communicate regularly with them is a situation that you want to handle right away. I recommend insisting that you have a meeting with your managers as soon as possible and ask them candid questions about their perception of your performance.  This is a time to be assertive and find out what's really going on instead of living in fear of what could happen. 

The overall theme of my advice and Nicole's is that it's time to put yourself in the driver's seat where your job and career is concerned, even if the end result isn't what you want it to be. And I certainly hope that there is a positive outcome. It is also possible that you may decide that it's time to move on. Having cancer and going through treatment often is the impetus to find work that is more meaningful and gratifying.

Good luck!

Julie

So i just turned 31 years old and im just trying to figure out and understand lung cancer and everything that comes with it i dont know i been getting migrains like craxy that last more then 5 hours and been getting pain on my front lower chest by my lung to where i breath it it hurts and i cant move for atleast 5mins then it goes away i wake up sometimes out of nowhere trying to catch my breath and i recently had went in to the hospital due to my feet swelling up so bad i couldn't walk and also from a cyst on my vocal cords on my throat well the doctors said they did a chest scan and accidently found a glassround nodule in my lower right lung and told me to make another appointment in a couple months to see what it is they said its only 1.8CM and they can't tell what it is yet but said its most likley lung cancer. Cancer runs on my dads side of the family his dad had it his brothers had it his sisters had it also and heart failure runs on my moms side of the family...im also dealing with 90days left of probation and 15 more weeks of classes so its hard for me to focus on my health at the same time..i guess im just wondering where do i go from here how do i take this situation and make it a positive situation i need advice on this because all this is new to me thanks

Also im trying to quit smoking cigs i go through a pack a day so trying to cold turkey that so far 2 days off cigs

Hello,

It sounds like it would be a good idea for you to speak with a doctor to fully understand your health situation. Once you have a better sense of what you're dealing with, you can then speak with your healthcare team about how to best care for yourself! I understand it can feel really overwhelming and be challenging to figure out how to stay positive when everything feels up in the air. The best thing you can do is gather information so you have a better understanding of your current situation and what you might be looking at in terms of any kind of treatment or timeline. With that information, you can then assess what would be most realistic and healthy for you. We have a number of articles in the Where to Start section of our website that can help you navigate some of those early decisions. Also, we do have a webinar coming up focused on getting started after a new cancer diagnosis, so that may be helpful for you once you have a more solid understanding of what's going on with your health.

Happy to discuss further if you'd like to reach out to us at cancerandcareers@cew.org to speak with someone.

Best,

Nicole Jarvis, LMSW

Assistant Director of Programs

In any case, there are two proactive options available to address this issue. The first option involves engaging in a direct conversation with the individuals in question, expressing your concerns over their communication style and its impact on you. Alternatively, the second option entails adopting a more detached perspective, refraining from personalizing their behavior, and seeking out coping mechanisms to mitigate the resulting aggravation. 

It's important to prioritize your well-being. Here are some suggestions for addressing the situation with your coworker and managing your work concerns:

Communicate your needs:

Find a private and comfortable time to talk with your coworker.
Share that you're dealing with health challenges, including chemo brain, and that certain comments are affecting you.
Ask for their understanding and request that they use more direct communication without assuming prior knowledge.
Be specific about your needs:

Explain that due to your health condition, you might need more explicit information or reminders.
Suggest alternative ways of communication that are clearer for you, such as summarizing key points at the beginning or end of emails.
Reach out to your managers:

While you may be hesitant, consider having a conversation with your managers about your health condition.
Express your concerns about your performance and discuss any adjustments or accommodations that might be helpful.
Highlight your commitment to maintaining a high level of performance and your willingness to work collaboratively on solutions.
Document your requests:

Keep a record of your attempts to communicate and any responses.
If your monthly meeting requests are going unanswered, document those instances as well.
This documentation may be useful if you need to discuss your situation further with HR or higher management.
Explore HR resources:

If your managers are not responsive, consider reaching out to your HR department.
Explain your health condition and the challenges you're facing at work.
Inquire about any available support, accommodations, or resources that may be offered.
Seek support from colleagues:

Talk to colleagues who you trust about your situation.
They may provide emotional support or offer insights into how others in the workplace have handled similar situations.
Self care:

Prioritize self-care and make sure you are taking breaks and getting the support you need outside of work.
Consider seeking additional support from healthcare professionals, support groups, or counseling services.
Remember, it's crucial to communicate your needs and seek support, both within your team and from HR if necessary. Your health should be the top priority, and it's okay to ask for help and accommodations during challenging times.